Shh!

Does anyone ever get the feeling that we should be having some of our discussions about the mission of libraries in super secret whispered conversations?

I'm starting to feel like there's a real disconnect between what we believe and the values we're charged to uphold, and the face we have to present to the public.  I've been thinking about this for a while, and in tonight's "lecture" when Eli Neiburger noted that "if libraries didn't exist we wouldn't be allowed to create them" it really hit home for me.  What that says to me is that our nation has radically shifted from the values that compelled us to create libraries in the first place, and that if the public grasped the full implications of the interaction between "free access to information" and "the free market" we'd all be shouted down as socialists, at best.  (Not implying a value judgment on socialism, just pointing out that given the state of national conversation, "socialist" is about the nicest thing a person can expect to be called). 

But at the heart of our mission is the belief that access to information shouldn't have anything to do with economic standing, that in fact it is critical to democracy that this be the case.  I cannot claim to understand anything involving economics or law, but more and more lately I'm sensing an essential conflict between democracy and capitalism, and it irritates me that the two seem so wound around each other in public discourse.  I feel like so much of our discussion leads back to the fact that the capitalist model is just not adequate when the commodity we're talking about is information.

So my fear is that we're currently moving to a more and more restrictive and proprietary model, which will eventually choke off free discourse even further.  Librarians are in a position to resist that, but I worry that in doing so we'll open ourselves up to scrutiny from people who will argue that we're hurting the free market (ignoring the marketplace of ideas btw).  How can we maintain our All-American apple pie image while driving radical change in how information is distributed?  

Looking ahead

Two years sounds like a long time, but it's really not.  I'm freaked out that this semester is almost over.  It's gone by in a blink.  On the one hand I'm looking forward to getting into the meat of the program, but I find myself panicking at time slipping by.  I'm contemplating next semester.  I'm glad that many of the people I've gotten to know will be in my one on-campus class with me.  My online classes sound interesting and fun, and I'll be starting fieldwork for school media.  I'm still working at the library, and I'm getting more involved in running the teen program there.  And Meg Backus is teaching a class that sounds really exciting.

What worries me is the time situation.  It's hard to figure out exactly what is the tipping point - would I be okay if I skipped Meg's class and just kept up with the flow of ideas from classmates?  Or is fieldwork on top of three classes on top of work already insanity?  Is it so insane that I might as well just take the fourth class since I won't be sleeping anyway?

I know that a schedule like this can be managed with organization and discretion.  However, those are not my strong points.  (I know, a disorganized librarian, awful.)  Organization...what can I say.  I at least keep a running to-do list, but my physical and psychic space is in a constant state of chaos.  As far as discretion, I've come to this place with the mindset that I am going to exploit every opportunity and be my best self and make friends dammit!  So the only real limitation I've placed on myself is my work schedule.  Most things that don't conflict with it, I try to say yes to.  Maybe that will have to change, but I have very little experience in the space between being social and being a recluse.  Add to this the consideration that my classmates are fellow librarians and hanging out with them frequently leads to really interesting and inspiring discussions. 

All things to ponder.  I'm still trying to find that balance between having a life (and to be clear, I don't mean partying, but rather doing dishes and feeding my turtles and grocery shopping) and being the best librarian I can be.  Is there a point where you just have to acknowledge that there's not going to be any balance in these next few years and just go all in?

Anyway.  The universe has forced my hand, and I will be grocery shopping tonight.  I ran out of sugar for my damn coffee.

Just a quick note:  I totally agree that the value of any item is socially constructed rather than inherent.  That doesn't mean that as librarians we can't add our voices to the conversation and contribute our perspective if we believe that something is important, but it does mean that knowing our communities is just as important as knowing our collections.  If we want to end up as repositories of obsolete junk, shutting ourselves off and disengaging from dialogue with the social context of our collections is a great way to do it.

Cry

Dear SU/fate/the universe,

Why must every cool thing that happens on campus land directly in the middle of either class or work?  First the meditation class, then the dinosaur lecture, and now Apolo Ohno?  On the first Saturday I've had to work?  Not cool.

Crying into my Halloween candy,
Me

(Yes I realize that what this actually means is that I just spend all my time at either school or work, but it feels rather cosmic.)